Hangman With the Gang
by Kurissyma san Tybalt
Summary: Tidus attempts to start a hangman game on a looooooong shoopuf ride as in 'are we there yet' long with disastrous consequences.


Hangman with the Gang 

Tidus: Are we there yet?

Lulu: Shut up, Tidus.

Tidus: Are we there yet?

Lulu: Shut up, Tidus.

Tidus: Are we there yet?

Lulu: Shut up, Tidus.

Tidus: Are we-?

Lulu: SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP TIDUS!

Tidus: Yes, ma'am!

…

Tidus: Are we there yet?

…

Tidus: Are we there yet?

…

Tidus: Are we there yet?

Lulu: No, Tidus, we are _not_ fucking well _there yet_! What do you want me to do? Spell it out for you???

Tidus: What a great idea!

Lulu: (groans)

Tidus: Let's plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…!

Rikku and Tidus: HANGMAN!

Lulu: (sarcastically) Fun! Fun!

Tidus: Wow! That's the first sentence with an exclamation mark I've ever heard you say!

Lulu: (defensively) No, it wasn't!

Tidus: Without the words "fuck" "no" "imbecile" or "damn" in it, it was.

Lulu: (grumbles)

Wakka: It kinda was, Lu…

Lulu: Die! (Reconsiders) Well, you can die after our first date this Saturday…

Wakka: Hey! Not first! I took you to Spira Burger!

Lulu: That. Doesn't. Count. Anyplace with Seymour dancing around in a red wig cannot be considered a proper first date. (Pouts) I've never been to a proper restaurant.

Wakka: Then please, Yevon, don't let this Shoopuf ever reach the highroad!

Lulu: (Glares)

Wakka: I wanna live, ya!

Tidus: Hello, people! _Hangman!_

Lulu: Uhh…. No.

Tidus: Anyone?

Rikku: Pick me! Pick me!

Tidus: Anyone _else_??? (bats eyelashes) Yuna?

Yuna: (Pretends to be asleep)

Tidus: Auron?

Auron: (Snores loudly)

Tidus: I don't suppose… Kimahri?

Kimahri: (jumps overboard) Noooooooooo!

Tidus: (sighs)

Rikku: Yay!

Tidus: Fine then- it's a sentence, all right?

Rikku: Yessir!

Tidus: ---- --- ----- ----- ---- -- ---!

Lulu: Why do even your hangmans end in exclamation marks?

Tidus: (brightly) Because if Rikku ever guesses it- it'll be the last one I ever make!

Lulu: I see… That makes sense.

Rikku: Oooh! I pick _A_!

Tidus: (sweats)

---- a-- -a--a- -a--a- ---- -- -a-!

Lulu: (raises eyebrows) That's mature, Tidus.

Tidus: (gasps) You can't know it already!!!

Lulu: How many words look like -a--a?

Rikku: Umm…?

Lulu: (rolls eyes)

Rikku: Hmph! _I_?

Tidus: No!!! Mwahahahahahahahaha!

Lulu: You can stop now.

Rikku: _U_ then.

Tidus: -u-u a-- -a--a- -a--a- -u-- -- -a-!

Rikku: The first word is _Lulu_!

Lulu: (grimaces)

Tidus: (Fills in _Lulu_)

Rikku: Score!)

Yuna: (opens one eye to peek at the hangman) Lulu and Wakka…

Rikku: (spazs) Why didn't I think of that!

Tidus: (reluctantly) Lulu and Wakka -a--a -u-- -- -a-!

Wakka: Do I wanna know this one, ya?

Tidus: What do you mean?

Wakka: Well is it gonna be like the last one?

(Group silence as everyone remembers Tidus' last handman… _Lulu and Wakka sitting in a tree- F.U.C.K.I.N.G._)

Tidus: …

Rikku: Fine, then! I guess _F, C and K._

Tidus: Somebody stop her for Damn's sake! _Lulu and Wakka -a--a fuck -- -a-! _

Rikku: Well that makes things easier!

Lulu: (deep sigh)

Rikku: How about _N_?

Tidus: Lulu and Wakka -anna fuck -- -a-!

Rikku: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm?

Wakka: (to Lulu) Rikku's painfully slow today…

Lulu: (to Wakka) Maybe if we kill Tidus now, she'll never find out what it says.

Wakka: (to Lulu) And if Rikku's dead, no amateur spies will ever find out how true it is…

Lulu: (snorts) As if!

Wakka: (grins)

Rikku: (screws up face) _O_?

Tidus: Lulu and Wakka -anna fuck -o -a-! (head explodes)

Lulu: Well that's one way to get rid of him…

Yuna: Gack! Tidus! …Well… you can say I didn't warn him… (shrugs)

Rikku: Well you sure got over that fast.

Yuna: Yup! I think I'm taking Seymour up on his offer.

Rikku: But we killed him.

Yuna: Puh-lease! Like he's not coming back! (Jumps off shoopuf and tries to swim towards Guadosalam)

(Tick… tock… tick… tock…)

Lulu: The idiot can't swim, can she?

Rikku: Nope…

(Tick… tock… tick… tock…)

Rikku: Oh, _fine_!

(Rikku and Auron jump after her)

(Lulu and Wakka, alone now, stare down at Tidus' corpse)

Wakka: Think he's still watching us?

Lulu: I wouldn't put it past him…

Wakka: (tosses Tidus overboard)

Lulu: There's just one thing left to do…

Wakka: What, ya?

Lulu: (throws Wakka under the shoopuf's feet and waits for the satisfying _crunch_) There we go!


End file.
